


not long for this world

by murderfuel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Brutal Murder, Healing, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mercy Killing, Murder, Needles, Pins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27017620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderfuel/pseuds/murderfuel
Summary: pins and needlesneedles and pinstools that can be used for healing, can also be used for destruction
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	not long for this world

“Again?” The disdain in Machi’s voice was clear as she spoke.

“Yes again,” Illumi responded, gathering his pins and placing them in a small leather bag that he slung over his shoulder.

Machi rolled her eyes. “I just don’t understand why he throws himself into deadly situations all the time. I’m starting to get sick of accepting his filthy money in exchange for me helping him. Tell him this is the last time I’m doing this.” 

“You’re being a little harsh,” Illumi pulled open his car door and sat in the driver’s seat, toying with his keys before putting them in the ignition. The car roared to life, a soft rumble filling the quiet air.

“I don’t think I am at all,” Her voice was cold, unforgiving. “Nearly every week he’s getting into an accident. He’s addicted to the rush that a good fight brings. You know this, Loomi.” 

Illumi considered the spider’s words. She brought up a good point; if she continued to heal Hisoka, he would go straight back to fighting anything with a pulse. 

Illumi despised this with most of his being. Maybe it was because a small—well not so small—part of him cared about Hisoka. He didn’t want the clown to get caught up in anything that would result in his ultimate death.

Illumi needed to erase those thoughts from his head; after all, assassins weren’t supposed to have friends, his parents had imprinted this thought into his head since he was a little boy blissfully unaware of the outside world. Were they wrong? No. Illumi shook the thought from his head. Kikyo and Silva didn’t lie; they knew anything and everything. What they said was final. 

Being around Hisoka felt so right. Illumi knew that for sure. The obnoxious redhead always managed to get a laugh out of Illumi. When they paired up together for an assassination, things went so smoothly, everything coming naturally, with ease.  
Hisoka was consuming his thoughts.

“Illumi, are you still there?” Machi asked. Illumi snapped out of his daze and began to drive.

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m on the way to your hotel,”

Illumi drove and drove and picked up Machi before driving to Hisoka’s location in silence. 

Red met green as Hisoka’s blood painted a gruesome picture. Slabs of torn off skin molded into the faux appearance of leaves. Branches with roots so long it felt almost as if they were reaching toward the moving spiders. Yellow light slipped through the cracks of trees. Shadows crept up and down Hisoka’s fallen body.

Hisoka’s body was splayed out on the ground; one of his legs and arm feet away from his body, begging to be attached to him once again. Blood streamed down the side of Hisoka’s face. Though he couldn’t move, and his body was a mangled mess in desperate need of repair, Hisoka still had a silly smile plastered on his face.

It was clear that Hisoka had gotten exactly what he wanted. 

“Is he dead?” Machi asked, grabbing a handful of needles.

“Doubt it,” Illumi kneeled down beside Hisoka’s head and poked the redhead’s cheeks with one of his pins. Hisoka roared to life, spitting out blood, gasping and choking, his gold eyes widening. 

A deep laugh slipped past Hisoka’s soft lips.

“NO!” He giggled.

Machi rolled her eyes before grabbing Hisoka’s severed leg. She made quick work of reattaching it with her needle and thread, making sure it was sturdy and flexible before she moved onto his arm.

“If you don’t mind, Illumi, you could work on his face while I finish up his body,”

Illumi frowned, staring at Hisoka’s destroyed face. Thick slabs of skin fell lazily, showing what was under, bloodshot eyes stared back at him, and half of his face was completely singed off.

Who had done this Hisoka? Nobody had ever given Hisoka such grave injuries. Who was the one person that bested Hisoka in a fight to the death? 

“I can’t fix his face,” Illumi tucked his pins back into their case and flipped his ebony hair over his shoulder.

“Why not?”

“You can see his face. The damage is too severe. You’ll have to help.”

Machi groaned, tugging on one of her stitches, Hisoka’s arm being put back in the proper place. She brushed his hair back with her hand; her other hand making quick work of piecing his face skin back on.

She backed away, brushing her hands on her skirt.

“Do you still need my help or do you have it?”

Illumi shook his head and watched her walk away; she had other things to do nearby, Nobunaga needed her help with a petty heist.  
Illumi licked the balls of his pins; it was a ritual he was fond of, it brought him comfort in more ways than one. The needle pricked Hisoka’s skin, shifting the clown’s face slightly. 

“Stop,” Hisoka swatted Illumi’s hand away.

“Oh?”

“Do not fix me any further. I have decided I do not want to live~” Hisoka smirked and held onto Illumi’s hand, stealing a pin.

“Oh?” Illumi repeated.

“Kill me.”

“No, why would I do that?”

“Because you love me~” Hisoka grinned before wincing in pain.

“I like you so why the hell would I kill you. Hisoka you’re being irrational. Besides, I need you to stick around for a little while longer. You’re good for business.”

“Illumi, quit playing coy—you know how much that turns me on—just admit you’re helplessly in love with me. That’ll make this so much easier~” Illumi let out a noise of disapproval. He hated when Hisoka played games with him, in a weird way it brought Illumi joy, made his heart flutter with excitement. He wanted to toy with Hisoka and joke around with him under their stomachs hurt from laughter. But he couldn’t; something was holding him back. What was it? What was stopping him from letting loose and living life to the fullest?

“No,” God why was he playing hard to get? _Confess your feelings, it isn’t hard,_ he thought. 

“Kill me, or I kill you.”

Illumi let out a soft chuckle at this. “I think you are forgetting who is in control here. I have control over whether or not you are healed or killed. You can barely see, your face is a hot mess in need of repair. And besides, if you really wanted to die you would’ve spoken up when Machi was fixing your body.”

Hisoka laughed, slow and easy. “I didn’t say anything because I want you to kill me. Machi would just get in the way. You paid her ahead of time, didn’t you? Wouldn’t want to waste her time.” Hisoka winked.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

Hisoka’s face moved into that of a gentle pout. “My dear Illumi, I think you are forgetting what your line of work is. You are an assassin. Your whole life’s purpose is to kill. So do exactly that. Kill me. I have had my last battle. I’ve fought Chrollo and I’ve fought another person to the death. I’m satisfied. Hell, I don’t even want to fight Gon anymore. I want you to do what you do best; murder. Try not to think about how it’s me you’re killing.”

Illumi exhaled and gripped his pins in his hand.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes~”

Hisoka leaned back and closed his eyes; ready for whatever was soon to happen.

Illumi’s heart damn near stopped. How could he go through with this? Eager golden eyes looked up at him; eyes that he had spent years gazing into during late-night flings. Illumi’s heart pounded in his chest, an erratic rhythm that made his headache with burning thoughts. No way was he going to kill Hisoka. Things weren’t supposed to end this way. They were too good together. Hisoka was the all too bright sun rising on Illumi’s deep night sky. Illumi was tired; he just wanted to be happy.

“Loomi, please,” Hisoka’s eyes darkened, his amber embers dimming, the light that burned with a passion in him, dying.

It was now or never.

Illumi’s tongue swirled over the top of the pin before he slammed it down in Hisoka’s chest. Hisoka jerked up as a stream of blood spilled past his lips. Illumi felt bile itching at the back of his throat. He couldn’t do this.

As if Hisoka could sense Illumi’s feelings, he gave Illumi a reassuring look. Telling Illumi that it was okay, that this was exactly what he wanted.

Illumi took another pin and stabbed Hisoka in the heart. 

The sound made Illumi gag; the squelching sound, the gentle whish of air release. Hisoka was just barely holding on; his breathing was ragged, blood covered the entire front of his body, he was a mess of torn meat and bones.

Another needle pierced Hisoka’s heart as tears blurred Illumi’s vision. More and more needles stabbed Hisoka as Illumi cried out in pain. Hisoka was gone, even his aura was nowhere to be found, yet Illumi kept going. All of his pins were inside of Hisoka; his hands were empty, only the thickest layer of Hisoka’s blood touched him.

Illumi froze; the weight of his actions finally dawning on him.

He had killed Hisoka.

Crimson stained his hands. It felt as if Hisoka’s blood was burning a hole through his hands; tearing him apart. _No no no. I want it off. GET IT OFF PLEASE._ Illumi screamed internally. He couldn’t get the words to come out. He opened his mouth only for chokes to come out. Something was grabbing at his throat, leaving him speechless.

Tears, snot, and blood slid down Illumii’s cheeks. Ugly sobs escaped him as he collapsed next to Hisoka’s corpse.

“Hisoka, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you this when you were alive, but I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. Why did you make me do this? We could’ve been happy,” He cried out, grabbing desperately onto Hisoka’s hand.

The magician’s hands were so cold—dead and unforgiving—as Illumi interlocked their fingers. 

This was all too familiar to Illumi; he and Hisoka had been in this exact same position countless times, on late nights together after a long day of work. Nights full of lust and desire and the pure wanting of each other inside of them, touching them. Tender kisses and gentle touches that dared lead into something more. 

Illumi wanted to go back to one of those times. Living in this moment with a dead Hisoka in his arms was the worst thing that had happened to him. The days of them together—happy and thrillful—were long gone. A mere fragment of the past.

The gentle fluttering of wings moves closer to Illumi. Hundreds of small red butterflies swarm around him, landing atop Hisoka’s head. Illumi stares at them with sorrowful eyes; he knows this is Hisoka’s last trick, the finale of his life. Small bits of aura cling to the beautiful creatures as they move.

The letters begin to form. L connecting to O. “I love you,” The butterflies say before they dissolve and dissipate into nothing. The show has ended.

Illumi can’t deny his feelings any longer.

“I love you too,” He whispers.

Illumi closes his eyes, resting his head on Hisoka’s bloody chest before he drifts into a deep sleep. 

He wanted to savour that moment; after all, it was the last time he would ever get to touch Hisoka.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, kudos and reviews appreciated


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